Once in our lifetime, we all must have heard this phrase, “Can you lend me money this time?” It sounds so familiar because the seeker is always a known friend. Before lending money to your friends, always keep in mind, “what is more important to you?” It could either be friendship or your money.
After lending money, many of us feel awkward to even reminding our friends about the transaction. We feel a sense of inferiority to even ask with a fear of being rejected. The following friend could play a victim card saying things like “I wouldn’t run away with your money” or “Is money more valuable than our friendship”.
In friendship, it is important to keep money-toxic friends at bay and avoid financial showoffs to impress your friends. Adopt a money-split method of sharing money equally in situations like having food at a restaurant, going for a movie, shopping, and traveling together.
The income or wealth gap is another huge factor that breaks friendships apart. No matter how much we deny it but it is estimated that 1 person in every group cut ties with the friend’s group. The reason, “It couldn’t afford friendship”, not everyone in the group is financially independent. Always talking about money with friends is like showing anticipation to your friends. This type of treatment could hamper your friendship in the long run.
Here are some guidance tips:
Place yourself as a priority– It’s completely okay to put your needs first. Before lending money, make sure you have sorted your budget well to take care of your needs. Otherwise, you will end up borrowing from others to sustain your expenses.
Be a responsible Friend– As a responsible friend, it’s important to know the reason for seeking money. Understand the requirement, whether it’s because of “poor money management” or your friend is a “spendthrift”. Avoid giving money to a friend who is into illegal activities like drugs or gambling.
Set clear Timelines– Helping out your friend in crisis is a good cause. Discuss with your friend in advance, the specific date, the mode of payment, and a reminder on phone. Communication is key, be clear with your friends.
Manage your emotions– Understanding the root cause of why money set you up with uncomfortable emotions. Learn to say “No”, you don’t need to break your savings to help friends. Learn to deny “I don’t have right now”, and be clear and specific with your statement, “As discussed, kindly return me the amount on a specific date”. Everybody has their own expense, it’s nothing wrong to ask for your own money.
Avoid Toxic Friends– Cut off ties with toxic friends who always seek financial favors and refuse to pay back. Do not hesitate to let go of a friend who doesn’t respect your financial limitations. Avoid a friend who is irresponsible and refuses to change the habit of asking for money.
Signing a Promissory note– After careful consideration, when you finally decide to lend money to your friend. Make sure you both sign a promissory agreement with a sound witness to clarify the terms of repayment. It’s a secure step to preserving your friendship for the best.
To conclude, there is always a solution to retain your friendship without the guilt and discontent of giving money. Be careful, with whom you are friends, choose your friends wisely, and stay away from toxic people. Having fair communication is a key and setting up boundaries in your friendship is a must. Nothing goes wrong when you are clear about your transaction and limitation.